its 4 in the morning.
2 days after my bird died because of me.
my best friend, who kissed my eyelashes while i cried through years of depression has left and its my fault.
i was coming off medication and i could barely think or move. things slipped my mind. i let her diet slip. i let her cage get messy. and then one day i found her dead.
this is guilt unparallelled to anything ive ever felt.
ive never hated myself so much.
she trusted me and loved me, i was her best friend and her mother.
and i killed her.
it was all my fault.
i cant sleep and all i want to do is cut and drink and smoke and binge and purge and starve like she starved.
im scared things will get bad again.